hate anger madness Circa Sept 2003

I hate you i hate you for taking away my ability to breath for stealing everything i thought was once holy and good and stuff and breaking it into pieces like it meant nothing to you i hate you for stealing away three years of my life and then hurting me more by telling me how your over it it shouldve happened soooner and that your engaged i hate you for not ending it sooner i hate you for the times yoyu made me feel like i was the best thing in the world only to dump on me a few minutes later and tell me i needed to see a shrink…so 3what if i did at least i didnt have some mommy complex at least i could hold a job i hate you for taking care of me when i was sick and then telling me i lied to you i hate you for pulling out all the stops when it came to how you were feeling but how you could never really tell me the truth anyway…i hate you for mim i hate you for laryn i hate you for phyllis and jack and all those other girls youve been with or wanted to be with or are with today..because as much as you say you didnt you compared me to them and that sucks….i loved you i gave you everything i thought i was dying at points half from your suffication and half from my own poignant health issues but i stuck it through we watched oz and cuddled and dealt with your obbsession with bruce lee and bad action movies…because i cared i cared about you and your family and they hurt me too i only did wroing cuz you did wrong butim tired of justifing myself….i hate you for making me love you all i want is my life back i want my soul back i want tohe essence that is me back…let me go….

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