I was, I am, I will be

When you met me I was broken. A shattered girl who was scared. Scared to love, to trust, to believe in herself let alone anyone else. Anger, confusion, sadness all bubbling just under the surface of the calm. Tears not to far behind those emerald eyes, just yearning for the trigger to snap so they could flow. Gently you pushed, you built a bridge to let me cross, to make me believe. I did, I believed, I trusted, I belonged. All that pain and fear went away.
Now you’re gone and I’m OK. Everyday I’m OK. I breathe and live and laugh. I dream and hope and wish. I create and devise and heal. I’m OK everyday and everyway…until it comes to love.

Then I am broken. A shattered girl who is scared. Scared to love, to trust, to believe in herself let alone anyone else. Anger, confusion, sadness all bubbling just under the surface of the calm. Tears not to far behind those emerald eyes, just yearning for the trigger to snap so they can flow.

This time…you are the reason. You are the one that broke me. That made me believe and then shattered every promise you gave me. I could have been ok. But you came back and gave me a final word. Of everlasting friendship and family. Then you shattered that. Not just for me. For my family. All of us. You made us believe. Then you stomped on that belief. And you never said you were sorry. You never said goodbye.

I told you once, everyone I have ever loved leaves me behind. You said you never would…Liar

One day, the pain will fade. I will set your memory aflame.Your invasion of my soul will subside. I long for that day. The day I can hear a song without cringing, your  name without twinning, watch a movie without tears in my eyes. One day I’ll be free to love again. Because I know what that word means. Because when you love, it isn’t easy to get over and move on. There is always a piece left behind, as a reminder of who you used to be.

Advertisements

One thought on “I was, I am, I will be

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s