I try to surround myself with people who can fill my space with good energy and light. Ones that will give me the gift of sparkling on through the course of my days as I take them one at a time. Occasionally I get thrown a bad seed now and again but I try to see the good in all. My biggest attribute and flaw is that my heart is so big and my belief is strong that everyone deserves the chance to shine, to be happy, to be loved. That everyone has those capabilities inside them.
I sit here sometimes and wonder what I did to lose someone my shine, to have my heart dissected and handed back to me. To feel part of my soul torn in half. I tried to chalk it up to past life mistakes, fear, dishonesty. I try to move on from those bad thoughts and place the past behind but with every beat of my heart I feel like there is a part missing. I’ve come to realize that there isn’t a part missing or misplaced. Hell maybe it wasn’t even shattered in the first place. Maybe I just loved so big and so much that you needed that part of my heart inside you. You needed to keep that piece to know that within me you will always have a safe place, a home, the love of myself and our children.
My thought is that, though you don’t say it, you know it. Our heart beats still as one because you have a part of us inside you and I do inside me. Things may have not been the greatest all the time but when two hearts meet as ours did then nothing can truly tear them apart. And that thought, though it is not arms around me at night nor sweet kisses to my forehead, keeps me feeling safe. That thought keeps my sparkle, because I am whole, I am me, I have my love and the love of my family no matter how far they may wander.
You taught me strength, you taught me perseverance, we taught each other love.
My lesson today is pure and whole. Surrounded by the energy of the world around, made blissful by our children’s sweet laughter, sparkling with all the love in my heart and believing in who and what I have become.