There have been arguments and tears. There have been hurt feelings on both sides. It was a rocky road that I thought we could make it over together and come out stronger. Fate had a different plan. I could be snarky, I could be angry,& I could be sad.
Sometimes I am all of those things, as I pick up the pieces of my shattered heart, I feel emotions that I have never felt before. I feel betrayed, I feel manipulated, I feel like I want to go out and scream till my voice is raw and I have no more tears left in my eyes.
But I have to swallow my emotions because I have to be strong. I have to be strong for our children, I have to be strong for me and I have to be strong for you. The reason I have to be strong for you is because I know this is hard and being just friends is hard, but as you said we will get there one day.
I want for you happiness and joy. I want to see you smile
I want for you relaxation and a simple life. No complications or drama.
I want for you to honor Mom and be a simple man. To find that kind of love.
I want for you a child of your own. For you deserve to have that experiance.
I wish I could give you these things. I wish I hadn’t done what I had done and screwed up our chances of forever. I wish I could simplify myself for you. Right now I’m just trying to understand me. But all will work itself out in the end. It is what it is right? I want for you to be happy. I want that for our children and myself too.