Monthly Archives: October 2015

How Cool Am I?#

AHHHHH! My college newsletter wrote about my Elephant Journal article!!!! It’s on the FRONT page of the newsletter!!!!!!

Check it out!!!!
Elizabethtown Newsletter

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Waiting…

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32 years old

32 years old
Sitting in a waiting room

32 years old
sitting in a waiting room
Tears on her cheeks

32 years old
Sitting in a waiting room
Tears on her cheeks
Trying to bite her tounge

32 years old
Sitting in a waiting room
Tears on her cheeks
Trying to bite her tongue
Because the pain is too much to bear

32 years old
Sitting in a waiting room
Tears on her cheeks
Trying to bite her tongue
Because the pain is too much to bear
She was only 3 minutes late

32 years old
Sitting in a waiting room
Tears on her cheeks
Trying to bite her tongue
Because the pain is too much to bear
She was only 3 minutes late
And she called them to say so

32 years old
Sitting in a waiting room
Tears on her cheeks
Trying to bite her tongue
Because the pain is too much to bear
She was only 3 minutes late
And she called them to say so
They said no problem

32 years old
Sitting in a waiting room
Tears on her cheeks
Trying to bite her tongue
Because the pain is too much to bear
She was only 3 minutes late
And she called them to say so
They said no problem
But there was a line

32 years old
Sitting in a waiting room
Tears on her cheeks
Trying to bite her tongue
Because the pain is too much to bear
She was only 3 minutes late
And she called them to say so
They said no problem
But there was a line
So when she gave her name

32 years old
Sitting in a waiting room
Tears on her cheeks
Trying to bite her tongue
Because the pain is too much to bear
She was only 3 minutes late
And she called them to say so
They said no problem
But there was a line
So when she gave her name
She was 16 minutes late

32 years old
Sitting in a waiting room
Tears on her cheeks
Trying to bite her tongue
Because the pain is too much to bear
She was only 3 minutes late
And she called them to say so
They said no problem
But there was a line
So when she gave her name
She was 16 minutes late
So now she’s waiting

32 years old
Sitting in a waiting room
Tears on her cheeks
Trying to bite her tongue
Because the pain is too much to bear
She was only 3 minutes late
And she called them to say so
They said no problem
But there was a line
So when she gave her name
She was 16 minutes late
So now she’s waiting
As the line has come and gone

32 years old
Sitting in a waiting room
Tears on her cheeks
Trying to bite her tongue
Because the pain is too much to bear
She was only 3 minutes late
And she called them to say so
They said no problem
But there was a line
So when she gave her name
She was 16 minutes late
So now she’s waiting
As the line has come and gone
And it hurts to sit, to stand, to breathe

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32 years old
Sitting in a waiting room
Tears on her cheeks
Trying to bite her tongue
Because the pain is too much to bear
She was only 3 minutes late
And she called them to say so
They said no problem
But there was a line
So when she gave her name
She was 16 minutes late
So now she’s waiting
As the line has come and gone
And it hurts to sit, to stand, to breathe
But she sits quietly

32 years old
Sitting in a waiting room
Tears on her cheeks
Trying to bite her tongue
Because the pain is too much to bear
She was only 3 minutes late
And she called them to say so
They said no problem
But there was a line
So when she gave her name
She was 16 minutes late
So now she’s waiting
As the line has come and gone
And it hurts to sit, to stand, to breathe
But she sits quietly
With tears on her cheeks

32 years old
Sitting in a waiting room
Tears on her cheeks
Trying to bite her tongue
Because the pain is too much to bear
She was only 3 minutes late
And she called them to say so
They said no problem
But there was a line
So when she gave her name
She was 16 minutes late
So now she’s waiting
As the line has come and gone
And it hurts to sit, to stand, to breathe
But she sits quietly
With tears on her cheeks
In the waiting room

32 years old
Sitting in a waiting room
Tears on her cheeks
Trying to bite her tongue
Because the pain is too much to bear
She was only 3 minutes late
And she called them to say so
They said no problem
But there was a line
So when she gave her name
She was 16 minutes late
So now she’s waiting
As the line has come and gone
And it hurts to sit, to stand, to breathe
But she sits quietly
With tears on her cheeks
In the waiting room
At 32 years old

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Awwww I’ve Missed You Too

Actually I have no idea if ya’ll missed me bit I definitely missed you. So many things are going on…well kinda…ish

Firstly, that gorgeous blog posting my article (if you haven’t seen it, the past 3 posts are all gushing about it)

Then I started editing a fantastic book, no no can’t tell you which one, but when I can I promise it will be all over the place.

I also finally started writing my own book! It is a very interesting process. It it difficult and exciting all at the same time.

The kiddos were away this past weekend and brought back this wonderous respiratory virus. Doctors visit tomorrow. Right now…

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50 day photography challenge

I have decided to take part in this challenge because I need to get myself out of my house at least a few times a day…You know, other than walking the kids to the bus. I’ve become a self imposed  agoraphobe in certain aspects….so, without further ado, this is the challenge

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And here was day 1

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I haven’t done a self portrait in a long time. So there you go. If you want to follow my challenge on Instagram @BohemianRockChick or on Twitter @NOSGlitter

More tomorrow
Sparkles
Shaye
Xoxo

Hit me baby ONE more time

I have been having some bad days lately. Days where looking at the reflection of myself in the glass of buildings have made me cringe. I have fallen into a spiral, a struggle that I know I fight everyday.

Ever since I wrote this I have been completely taken aback at the impact it has had on my life. As a disabled 32 year old that is still figuring everything out, you have given me the platform to speak about something that I feel is really important to a lot of people.

I ave received the kindest words, the most inspirational stories and the sweetest thank yous. From men in their twenties to women in their forties, teenage bloggers who have had a life harder than most should to people just overcoming their weight issues; my story has run the gamut of international emotions. And on days like today, when I can barely move, it is those stories that inspire me to write more. To smile and know that I have fulfilled one of my childhood dreams of touching the lives of people and making a difference.

So there you go, my diatribe. I would love for any of you to read my story and pass it along to those you think need it even if they don’t know it yet.

there is more of me to put out there, and I am finally brave enough to try.

Skin Envy

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A Good Morning to You

Good morning everyone!!!

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I can’t tell you that the past 2 weeks have been anything other than full of ER visits, therapy appointments, doctor appointments, helping out at a triathlon and getting my first article published. So first things first…1 I didn’t have a stroke, which is fantastic! It was a complex migraine which felt like a stroke. Either way it sucked. My boys doc changed his meds around and we will see if that changes his attitude. Other than that…the pixie doesn’t listen, at all. She has quite a weird streak going on and I don’t know how to break her of it. Charming did a three stooges routine all by himself while holding a canoe and ending up getting hurt (he didn’t do it on purpose).

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And I got my first piece published on a platform that is larger than this one. I am so blessed that I have all you dedicated followers, you are the reason that I have continued to write, the reason I have been able to open up about my life, my mental health and the things that ail me. So on that note…

If you get the chance, while you are in your morning routine, give this a read. I wrote this from the heart and am trying to share it with the world. I keep receiving messages about this article touching lives and that makes my heart soar. So give it a few moment of your time and then pay it foward.

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Skin Envy – By Yours Truly

All my sparkle thoughts,
Shaye

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I Am Officially A Published Author!!!!!!!

So as most of you know I have been writing for a while and I have hit stumbling blocks. But I have written and submitted several pieces to different well-known blogs…and Dun dun DDDDUUUUUUNNNNN…One of them decided they wanted to work with me to publish one of my pieces.

Today Elephant Journal published a piece that I wrote straight from te heart. It is about a stigma that is surrounding our culture today. A stigma that I don’t want my kids to fall victim to it, even though it swallows me whole and has for a very long time.

This piece is called Skin Envy and it would mean the world to me if you read it. I would love for you to share it, reblog it, tweet it, read it to your dog, cat or the homeless guy that lives under the bench down the street. I cried when it was published. It is so near and dear to my heart.

Much love

Shaye

xoxo

I Don’t Want To Be Fine! (Maybe later, but I’m not ready yet…)

I have had these days. I have raged out and hid under the blanks. I have lashed out and screamed, I’ve driven far past where I was supposed to go because I couldn’t deal with being fine. I wanted to be outside the fine box and cling to my illness. Because your clear thoughts where my train tracks of my derailment.

Such a powerful piece.

la quemada

Don’t tell me how well I’m doing; ask me how I am.

Don’t tell me how far I’ve come (I know that myself); ask me where I am now.

Don’t ask me how I’m fucking FEELING because I can’t even find my feelings. I don’t even have any. Real people have feelings but I’m not a real person. I’m a bunch of thoughts going around in a circle.

Don’t try to make me be fine. I’m clinging to my illness because at least I know what it is. I’m childishly resisting fine. I’m being unreasonable because being reasonable and strong and functional has worn me out. I don’t want you to push me over there before I’m ready. I’ve been pushed enough.

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Dear World, We Are Not Monsters- Mental Illness, Media, Stigma

As always her penchant for writing things that I am thinking astounds me. And I love being an apple instead of a monster.

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We can’t keep labeling people who commit heinous acts of violence with the same term used for one in four people in this county with mental health conditions.

How are we labeling these violent, heartless killers with the with the same term (“mental illness”) that is used to describe people like Robin Williams and Kay Redfield Jamison (brilliant psychiatrist and author with bipolar disorder) and the many wonderful, compassionate, kind, thriving members of our community?

Why are we lumping these countless people into one group, described by one awful term, and then only using that term in the media when these tragedies occur? How has this language not evolved?

I am not a scientist, doctor or psychologist but I know the brain is a complex organ. Why do we use one term to describe all the conditions and levels of severity of those conditions that occur with it?

These terms have…

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What is Bipolar Disorder?

Bipolar..in a nutshell. Read, learn, keep it in your mind…Because honey we are in for a bumpy ride

800 Recovery Hub Blog

I never heard much about bipolar disorder until I started spending time with alcoholics. No wonder since bipolar disorder and alcoholism are often linked together. According to the Mayo Clinic, up to half the people who have bipolar disorder also struggle with alcoholism.

What is bipolar disorder?

Bipolar disorder is a serious brain illness. It is also called manic-depression. People with bipolar disorder go through unusual mood changes. Sometimes they feel very happy and “up,” and are much more active than usual. This is called mania. And sometimes people with bipolar disorder feel very sad and “down”. This is called depression. Bipolar disorder can also cause changes in energy and behavior.

Bipolar disorder is not the same as the normal ups and downs most folks go through. Bipolar symptoms are more powerful. People with bipolar disorder can get treatment. With help, they can get better and lead successful lives.

check if you have BiPolar Signs, symptoms…

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