Startled

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Can’t breathe
It started with I can’t breath or you couldn’t breathe
Or the kids had stopped
But I woke up panicked
Half drugged half awake
On the broke of insanity
Because I thought I had lost you

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Pitch black
The sky
The room
The light behind my eyes
Confusion
But sleep was not my friend
Not tonight

So many words
Incoherent
Rambling
Persistent
Had to get them out

Maybe on paper they would make sense
Maybe once they fell from my mind it would be ok
But it’s never ok

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Scrutinized
Neediness
Sex
Guilt
Pleasure
Pain

Just words
Mean and hurtful
Not soft and airy
As dreams should hold

Everything is tomorrow
Tomorrow is s l8e
The magic is in me now
But tapping it’s power
Seems nearly impossible

A soul that sparkles
A heart that wants
A body that waits
A brain that talks the reasons out

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A gypsy soul
Trampled down by roots
B7t oh the places you would go
If the bravery kicked in

For now it’s in validation
As it has been
As it shall be
Endless cycle
Sheets of paper from the past

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Let it go
She says
You want for what’s better
Deserve for what’s best
He whispers

But that tiny voice
Cries
I DONT Believe YOU
I don’t know tip from bottom
I’m scared

It isnt child’s play
Anymore
And I cling
To soothe the savage beat
Because approval must be won

I need that
And you
I need you
No I want you
To stop me from the triggers

It’s 3sm
I must be Lonley

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