…I’m no Superman
I didn’t author last night, I sent out surveys I needed done as research but I didn’t author. And maybe I have been watching Scrubs too much. And maybe I was just trying to stay awake till Charming came home from the ER for his back.
I had so much inspiration yesterday, so much that I wanted just plug in and write for hours. I had a play list, I had the groove, I came home and it all got flushed down the potty. Yes I said potty. Deal with it.
I don’t know what hit me but it didn’t seem so important anymore. Like Noone would listen or no one cared. Like there were bigger things going on to deal with, even though it was stupid o’clock at night and I couldn’t do anything to change my destiny at that point anyway.
Charming was in pain, binge watching Scrubs, the kids weren’t listening and just unruly and I gave up. I gave up before I posted that. And tonight I gave up before I started…because why does it matter what I wrote.
Big deal. Three stories. Solid ideas but hoe and why do I feel they can make a difference. I should be figuring out the graphics for my editing page and getting testimonynials. Selling my photography. Posting more on Craigslist. Seeing if I can work on disability. Eviction looms. Money is nill.
I got yelled at for my friends making me an anon go fund me to try and help. By my mother. So my ex doesn’t try and take the kids again. But if it weren’t for him this would be happening. The judge would laugh at him anyway right?
It doesn’t matter. I’ve just pissed Charming off because all I wanted was quiet to blog and he started cracking jokes when he came in. So now I’m a bad guy. I don’t know anymore guys. I’m falling. Into a hole. And I’m scared.