My Magic Pink Panties Tell Me That Today Is Going To Be……..

#PERFECT

They did…That is what they say across my big old butt. And this big old butt this morning, wiggles and grooved to some Jason Derulo and Megan Trainor as it got dressed (Well until the sciatica kicked in and then it just kinda shimmied). But I found out that dancing in your underpants even for just 10 minutes really does make you feel better, it makes you up and ready to get going, even if it is already 1130am and you are still feeling physically shitty from the awful pain/hives/welling/andothersuchnonsense last night.

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It started out really great, probably because I am totally manic and because I already packed the kid’s bags for Trip’s house last night and I am super anxious about them going mostly because of the nonsense, but partly because I know half their clothes won’t come back. Shouldn’t it be part of the job to have clothes at each parents house, especially when the other parent has more money, Regardless…So we were having a good day, We paid the car insurance and then court stuff. We took care of the haircut Charming said he needed (they cut the top too short *pout*) and I talked to ATT about my phone. I can’t trade it in because the screen is cracked but insurance will send me a new phone for 100 bucks,

Then lunch with Charming and we dropped him at work, where we were gifted with AWESOME presents! Pixie got a Beymax and I got Joy PoP doll. She said her farewells to him and I promised to not get into a horrid accident because I won’t have a phone to call and say

“Hey Hun. Got into a horrid accident and look like that horrid creature from that bad Robbie Williams video.”

Headed over to vacuum, gas up and put it in the car, and get an awesome shake from Sheetz…..My bank card didn’t work….WhattheWHAT?! Went to the ATM…Call the bank. Well, that is kinda hard without a phone. Drove to the bank. Met a nice lady, she had closed my hard because they couldn’t get in touch and my account had been negative so long that they didn’t want bad things to happen. She reopened my card but said it could take hours before it works. Ok, so, no gas now…no ciggies…and I have to keep checking my card. No biggies, Pixie and I sang all the way home! We decided we are going to make a YouTube channel. It will be FABULOUS!

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Go to put in my claim for my phone. Everything is going great…

My address doesn’t exist…

WHAT?

I am pretty sure I live here

Sitting on my be RIGHT NOW

Watching Joe Jonas and marshmallows

They ask me if I want to have a chat, I have a chat. The lady has a marshmallow for a brain. She tells me to call. I DONT HAVE A PHONE. She tells me I have to fill out a form and fax it in. Ummmm Phone. She tells me they will leave it on my stop in the next two days after they receive the fax. Great so holiday weekend hooligans will grab it or I’ll get it sometime next week.

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Just a warning. Don’t fuck with a manic Mommy who has to hand over her kids for a weekend and is NOT happy about it. Don’t keep apologizing, just try and help. If you can’t help don’t say something stupid like call assistance. Don’t answer her questions with a question. Because she WILL tell you how awful you are. How you have no brain and should drag your awful self into the moist wet hole from which you were birthed.

*deep breath*

Still manic, having a migraine, rocking back and forth. And getting hives (I love being allergic to myself).

But there are a lot of hours in the day and Charming did tell me he was willing to see Magic Mike XXL. So maybe my magic panties were right. There are still 7 and a half hours in the day. Maybe it will end up #PERFECT

Wish me luck

Shaye

xoxo

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