Monthly Archives: July 2015

It’s been a while

I haven’t posted, I’ve been sick, Charming been sick. I’ve been in chaos. Two court dates tomorrow….but here’s the story….

*Deep Breath* So….today has been a crazy day, tons of phone calls, appointments, panic attacks…

Good news first – WE GOT THE APARTMENT!

after a lot of string pulling, pleasing, and my Mom laying out a lot of money for a double security deposit and first months rent we get to start moving in on Friday.

Now is the time where I ask, nay, plead, beg and promise that if you can help I would owe you my heart and soul. I can take photos for you, bake, clean, babysit and so forth.

Until the first I have $1,18 in my bank acvount. Charming doesn’t get paid till friday. We have no moving supplies, no food in the fridge, no gas in the cars and I have run out if meds to take care of some of my spoonies things. If you could throw a $1, $5, $10 or however much into my paypal account to get us thru the week it would be greatly appreciated. I am seriously on my hands and knees here, I don’t like asking but, I’m seriously helpless until we are out if this place. I can’t ask family of blood so I’m turning to family of soul. My paypal addy is

srsalisbury@gmail.com

I will pay you back when I can, however I can.

I am also in need of bodies to help move. Charming’s  back is so bad. Between him me and work one of us is going to get hurt.

I love you all

Me

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And Now For Something Completely Different

I’m out of spoons today,  it was supposed to be a day of relax and pack and instead it was a day of you will not be home at all.

Frazzled is a good word.  Exhausted as well. But with all I’ve done, I have to say it is time to keep my fingers crossed, send sparkles to the heaven and breathe. So I am now focusing on the good. And I’m hoping that (and my klonopin ) will help me breathe….. so with a giant gulp of mojo in a bottle 

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Here I go with the things that will keep me going until I get the news that the place is ours…

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My kiddos just being silly and playin

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Support at the doctor when I needed it most
 

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Mugging for the camera just cause

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Spontaneous love hugs and sparkles

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New and exciting changes

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Unique perspectives

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Silliness

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Fond memories

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My amazing family

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And gishwhes 2015

Those things are my rays of sunshine. I won’t have a lawyer at the trial. I am to end up owing that scummy landlord so much money.  And I have to move…and my birthday is in 3 days.

this is my story

Sparkle thoughts and l9ve
Shaye

If heaven weren’t so far away

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My sweet boy,
Since it hit midnight I have tried to find the words to tell you how much you mean to me. It’s silly I know because you are in my head already. I feel you when I need you most, when my heart is so heavy it feels like it will burst and when it is so happy that it cannot contain it’s joy. I can feel the raise of your brow before a bad decision (Which I make sometimes) and that nod of approval when I’m on the right track. I felt your arms around me as I was in those hospital beds and saw your eyes upon me as I graduated. 32…that is just 23 backwards right. Our Littles have grown so big, in fact Kay is talkin about cutting Barbies hair right now, or should I say styling. And Jayson asked me when is the next time we can have a dance party. I still think about how life would be different if you were here. How many maids of honor you’d have at your wedding. Who you would pick to design my dress. How you were always my prince in shining glitter. Heavens and earth couldn’t move enough to bring me the joy of one last hug from you. So here’s to us my sweet Emmett. To cheap wine, cosmo faces, RENT, Wicked and everything in between. Happiest birthday dear one in heaven. Your posse of diva’s down here is celebrating with you.
Love you always,
Your Debbie

Help Me Save My Family…

Welcome to my world…a slice of hell with a sprinkle heaven-

This is MY story. A friend made a go fund me because we have not to long before we have to leave. Nothing has been done legally by the landlord. We were given till Aug. 16 now there’s a hearing on the 29th of this month. Charming contributes all he can but with bad credit from our exs noone will take us. We literally have no where to go. The campaign has thus far raised us little money. And I’m scared. I may be hospitalized soon for an infection that antibiotics can’t beat. Charming may need back surgery. Our spirits have to stay up for the kids but we don’t know where to go or what to do. ANYTHING Can help. A share a donation a prayer an idea. A house a small one, two bedrooms will do. Lancaster is our home. Little man gets his services here and this is where our doctors are. Help us. Please.

HELP ME SAVE MY FAMILY

This family of three is being unfairly relocated due to their landlord ending their month to month lease on a property they have lived in for over 4 years. They have not been able to get government help. They must move by 8/16. These funds would help them afford a down payment and moving fees for a new start. Note: the family wishes to remain anonymous

-Their Story –

After moving to Lancaster Pennsylvania for a fresh start, single mom SRS moved into a 3 bedroom apartment with her 2 young children. From the start, the apartment had problems. No heat control led to the apartment being freezing cold in the winter and overwhelmingly  hot in the summer. When she complained of the freezing temperature in the winter, the landlord stated he couldn’t do anything, and advised her to buy an electric heater. She does not have control of the electrical, because the fuse box is in the basement of the rental which she doesn’t have access to. The landlord refuses to address any basic repairs to the place. Although he is supposed to paint the apartment yearly, he has neglected to do so. When he promised to take the cost of repairs she had made off the rent, he reneged and only deducted $50 instead of $200.  Because she cannot afford to move, she has stayed on in a place that is not up to code.

SRS has several chronic illness, and is on disability due to them. She states , “I was diagnosed with graves disease at 9, after a scare of thyroid cancer. They removed my thyroid at 13 and placed me on medication which I have been on since since I have no metabolic control.  At 17, after a luekimia scare, I was diagnosed with chronic immune thrombocytopenic purpura(ITP), which means my body attacks my platelets like they are a virus. A low platelet count can cause anything from bruising to bleeding internally. In May of last year, I was  rushed to the hospital with breathing issues and had to remain there a few days. During this time the children’s father took them and refused to give them back. This led to a legal battle which drained all of my funds. At that time I was also diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which is akin to fibromyalgia. Instead of causing nerve pain it causes the patient to suffer from fatigue and a depressed immune system. It also may cause migraines or blackouts, which I suffer from. After finally getting my children back and trying to get them back into a routine, I became ill again and was diagnosed with IGA deficiency. IGA deficiency is another autoimmune disease in which the mucous membranes do not function in immune response, leaving your body prone to infection. Treatments  include monthly infusions of IV IG. A huge downside of IGA deficiency is that once the treatments start you can’t stop them, and if the patient needs blood transfusions, the blood usually needs to be washed ahead of time. Things were just beginning to get stable,  when my boyfriend of almost a year began to physically and emotionaly abuse me while the children were at their father’s house. After shattering my windshield, he and his brother stole a number of my possessions in addition to money from my wallet.  Presently I am recovering from the removal of both my mirena IUD and lap band, which my body rejected because I am allergic to them. My doctor thinks I may have lupus, which would explain all my other conditions.” Although SRS is on disability, she is trying to find at home work, is actively writing, and is freelancing as an editor to earn extra money.

In addition to her medical problems, SRS’s son J has been diagnosed with a sensory disorder at 2, Aspergers at 4, and ADHD at 6. He currently has a TSS 5 hours a week at home. He attends an  after school program  3 days a week, to work in a group on social interactions. This program becomes a summer camp 5 days a week with the same staff. He also has one on one and family therapy to work on social skills, rigidity, emotional meltdowns, and expressing himself during transitions in the home and community, and sees a psychiatrist for medication management.

J and his sister K have been making top grades at school. K is starting 1st grade in the fall, and is reading at a 3rd grade level.  J starts 3rd grade in the fall, and is reading at a 7th grade level. K wants to be a veterinarian and a ballroom dancer when she grows up. J is stuck between marine biologist and monster truck driver. Both children want to start an intrustment and a sport come the new school year. Neither child realizes how impoverished the family is.

HELP ME SAVE MY FAMILY

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House of my dreams…

…Fading away

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Porch swing for two
Or four
Rocking chair
Lemonade

A big yard
And a grill
Very Somewhere that’s Green
But more me

Black and red and silver
My kitchen would be a malt shop
But cooler
Everyone would want to be there
I would want to be there

A dining room
For the holidays
A living room to fit the family
ALL the family

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Nooks for books and art and pictures
Places to escape
Build forts and nests
A swingset

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A workbench
And a shed
And a garage full of tools
For projects not thought up yet

And a climbing tree
With a tire swing
And a place to read
For all my kids
Big and small

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Doesn’t have to cost much
Doesn’t have to be new
Just has to be home
Not here

No bugs or eviction
No control over heat
Or when the power can come back on
No repairs that won’t be fixed

No landlord that welch on deals
No shootings by the house
Or murders down the street
No walls with echos of abuse

No street that kids can’t play on
No locks that have to be locked
No landlord walking in
Whenever he feels the right

Early eviction notice
He said we have more time
No money in the back
Medical bills keep rising

Pain everymorning
Scramble to save energy to pack
To keep Pixie occupied
To keep little man smiling

Charming working so hard
I’m trying
Trying to not feel guilt
To not feel like I’m failing
Because my body fails me

I’m scared
Only a week or two left
Then
Where do we go
From here

help me help us

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G.I.S.H.W.E.S.H

so if you have not heard, I have started my own gishwhes team this year. G.I.S.H.W.H.E.S. is the greatest international scavenger hunt the world has ever seen. It was started by Misha Collins and his amazing charity group Random Acts and for one week during the summer people team up from around the world to crazy, silly, fun and creative things to make people smile, gasp and give back to others.

My first year was last year and even with a badly sprained ankle I had a ball of Gishy fun!!!!

So here’s the deal. I need more team mates. I put up this add on fb….

I need a team of fantastic faerie fighters for my team faeriesfightback This year has been cruel to me and I’m determined to turn it around. Taking the fight back with all the sparkle thoughts and glitter and good juju in the world. (Unfortunately all my lovlies are poor, and have not received their scholarships yet) So I invited anyone and everyone around the world with Misha’s heart of gold and Miss Jean-Louis’ sass to join my team and make a fun filled difference for all the spoonies out there…

If you want to join my team go to G.I.S.H.W.H.E.S
Register
And join team FaeriesFightBack

I’ll include some of the fun we had last year

Xoxo
SHAYE

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How Do You Like Me Now?

The SisterWives

crowgrl

What if I’m writing this naked?

Does that make me more interesting?

Will you still listen to what I have to say if I’m not conventionally pretty? Or young? Not delicate and feminine? Not what you pictured before you read these words?

In hooker heels, I’m over six feet tall. I’m a size 16. Those heels would be a size ten. I don’t wear them anymore. I don’t wear thong underwear. I don’t wear bras that make me look like I’m trying to serve you my breasts. I love a good boob shirt – on me or somebody else  – but I don’t wear anything that compromises my comfort in order to make another person feel better about my femininity, my physicality, or my sexuality.

Am I still interesting? Assuming, of course, that I ever was?

I’m forty-seven years old. Two children via C-section. My belly button looks angry and bitter, and it’s so scarred and sunken that I…

View original post 696 more words

I’ve got Sunshine

…On a sunny day…

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Nothing new on the medical front. Not supposed to be around people. Still don’t know if I have staph. Punch biopsy lined up for Friday. Charming in the ER for stomach flu. Still in immense pain.

Nothing new on the home front. No money. Getting evicted. My go fund me doesn’t seem to be working. But for all who want to read that whole story…
losing my home

However…silver lining…
If you have ever heard of G.I.S.H.W.H.E.S.
(Which I hope you have) I have been granted a scholarship to be part of their international scavenger hunt this year. Last year was my first year doing it and being disabled, creative and not able to move around much, it gave me the opportunity to meet people from around the world, laugh, smile and give back. It made me feel like for once I was able to just be me. I won’t give you the whole history but Misha Collins from Supernatural started it and it is a great time.

So this year I started my own team. Team faeriesfightback  (as a play on a common meme that is seen when dean yells “FIGHT THE FAERIES” in an episode). I have 14 slots open. There are only 4 days left to register and I would love to share this with some of you. So go to gishwhes ultra awesome site register and look up the am faeriesfightback the join.

Shaye
Xoxo

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Sick and tired…..

…Of being sick and tired

Since I was 9 and the blood tests began. The poking and prodding. Since I learned the word Endocrinology.

Since I had my first cancer scare and the blood tests were done every week. I didn’t even know what Graves disease or my thyroid was or did till I was pregnant at 22.

Then there were the hives, the suicide attempts, the in and out of the hospitals. Staph infection, IBS, a really scary Gyny appointment that my mom never knew about….just part of my PTSD.

Again a cancer scare, a huge needle, a scar on my hip. Hematology and Oncology were words of my senior year of HS. Home school that year. I never got a senior year.

More blood work. Bruising, bleeding, allergies to the treatments. I didn’t know what ITP was until I was pregnant.

I swell, I hive, I bleed. My joints hurt, there are rashes and I can’t walk. I can’t sleep and when I do I still wake up sleepy. No energy and it hurts to be hugged.

So many meds and tests and bloodwork. So many ER visits and allergys. Shots and Xrays. 2 miscarriages. Weight loss and gain. Surgeries, anesthesia, doctors.

No answers. Never any answers. Just moved along to yet another doc. I offer to let them keep me. To let them keep me for tests.

Words like Lupus, fibro, MRSA. And they want me to be a grown up, nit to shudder at IV’s. To act dumb, not know what glucose in your pee means.

I’m scared, I’m only 31. I want to know what’s wrong. We have advanced so much since I was 9. I know you have the technology. Just figure it out.

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I stop up nights crying, wondering what I did wrong. What I did to deserve all this. My children keep me strong. My Charming stands tall by my side.

But I never wanted it to be about me. And somehow it always is. Because Noone explains a thing. There is no explination. According to them I am an anomaly. A case study.

So fucking study me. I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of being sick. I’m tired of scared that my kids will follow in my footsteps are that I will lose another angel to heaven.

I don’t need your narcitocs, I don’t need your crazy pills. I just need to know what’s wrong and how we can fix it.

Because honestly doc…I hurt…all over

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